“I am sorry, please forgive me”, often, we say it lightly and without much thought. Sometimes, these words give us an advantage, we are perceived differently. Asking to be forgiven and forgiving someone is powerful enough to move us to a different place in our hearts and minds. Suddenly, we feel lighter and more compassionate toward the one to whom the apology is addressed. It changes us and it changes them. Forgiving is like the crocus breaking through the frozen ground. Forgiving is life affirming. While an apology may be quick with an instant reward forgiving is much harder work. Forgiving is spiritual work.
What is forgiving? When you forgive someone who has deeply hurt you, you let go of resentment and the urge to seek revenge, no matter how deserving of these things the wrongdoer may be. You give the great gifts of acceptance, generosity and love. Forgiving, however, is not about forgetting the injustice, condoning or excusing the wrongdoer; it means you no longer condemn or hold the person(s) in contempt. If you forgive only superficially and continue to hold the person(s) in contempt the work of forgiving is incomplete because you consider yourself morally superior. Forgiving from a moral superiority is not transformative and not life affirming. The frozen ground remains too hard for the flower to push upward into the warming sunlight.
Dr. Robert Enright devotes his life to researching and teaching forgiveness. Undoubtedly his work is “groundbreaking. Dr. Enright offers a new understanding of forgiveness as an act of love that profoundly affects not just the person forgiving but also the community. We will use Dr. Enright’s model of Forgiveness. In the Forgiveness Workshop we will work through Dr. Enright’s a model of the forgiving process. According to Dr. Enright, forgiveness is more than a onetime act; it is a way of life.
I begin with an apology for cancelling the Forgiveness Workshop scheduled for November 18. Dr. Enright’s interview is a good way to begin the workshop, Dr. Robert Enright Interview
The new date, is December 2, 4:30 PM, in our new home at 698 E. Wetmore Rd, Suite 200, Tucson, AZ 85705.
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