Fear as the Teacher

Fear as the Teacher

For some of us, these are times of deep change and transition. While we may have good intentions regarding new practices for reflection, exercise and meditation, everyday stresses can derail our best plans. Tuning into our innermost yearnings in challenging times can be greatly enhanced with a deeper understanding our unconscious patterns of thinking. Foremost it means identifying  fears  and barriers that keep us from moving forward towards new behaviors and more loving relationships. Fears limit our ability to respond to situations creatively. “Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.”   Khwajeh Shams al-Din Muhammad Hafez-e Shirazi, 14th Century Persian Poet understood fear may be our best teacher. However, fear’s lessons can be deceptive. Often it appears to teach us to avoid the object or actions we fear. Misunderstanding fear’s message may cause us to miss opportunities for healing and growth. Consider fear’s real message, ‘There has been pain here before, this is difficult and scary, so I must be cautious and alert. Here is a learning opportunity for a different perspective and different action. Fear, it seems to me, is a lack of understanding the real nature of the event, person or thing. Fear then is the caution light, there is danger here, look, listen learn before you proceed. Recognizing fears is the “first room” in Carolyn Myss ‘s Entering the Castle: an Inner Path to God and Your Soul. My lesson in that first room was “the fear of humiliation controls” me more often than I ever imagined.

Startling as it may seem, there are only only five basic fears;  all others are derived from these five: Extinction – fear of annihilation, Mutilation – fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure, Loss of Autonomy – fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, this one is a biggie, it encompasses most of our fears, Separation – fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness – of becoming a non-person, Ego-death – fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the Self. I found myself hovering over this one. Working my way through the rooms of the castle  I noted the things that scared me and with noticing they ceased to paralyze me.

In his travels through the heavens and hells, Swedenborg saw the hells ruled by means of their fears. Now that’s a scary thought. Could it be that in the physical plane, our fears rule over us? Swedenborg asserts,  No one is reformed in a state of fear, because fear takes away freedom and reason, or liberty and rationality; for love opens the interiors of the mind but fear closes them; ”

I see a clear choice between acting out of one fear or another or acting out “dignity, direction and purpose”. I see a clear choice between acting out of one fear or another or acting out “dignity, direction and purpose”.  According Dannion Brinkely, three time Near Death Expereincer,  we must exercise our free will to live with joy rather than fear.

Circle Community begins an exploration of “fears” in the upcoming meeting February 10, 2013 at our new location at Denny’s Restaurant at 6484 E. Broadway, Tucson, 85710

A rock window sculpted by wind on Mt. Lemmon

 

 

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Gabriella was born in Budapest Hungary. Some of her family still resides in Hungary. After escaping the Communist regime in the aftermath of the 1956 Revolution, Gabriella's family settled in Cleveland OH. She graduated from Cleveland Heights High School and attended college but did not earn a degree. She met her husband in Devon PA, and soon they were married and began family life in PA. Only a few years married, John and Gabriella moved to FL to be with Gabriella's aging parents. Two o their three children were born Florida. After the children began school, Gabriella volunteered in schools and libraries. Her love for swimming drew her into the world of aquatics. Part time coaching jobs evolved into career aquatic management. Her children out of the home, Gabriella worked full time as an aquatic manger, coach and swim instructor. In 2001, John and Gabriella's plans to ease into retirement in Tucson changed drastically when John suffered a heart attack in 2002. John’s amazing recovery after bypass surgery allowed Gabriella to seek a new career. It was a life changing experience for both of them. Gabriella returned to school at the University of AZ and John took over household responsibilities. A shift occurred in their lives. Gabriella felt called to become a spiritual care provider. Preparing for seminary, she chose interdisciplinary program, combining Psychology, Family and Religious Studies. She graduated with honors in 2006. Gabriella and John moved to Berkeley for her to begin seminary at the Pacific School of Religion. Gabriella was accepted on the ordination track in the Swedenborgian Church of North America. Her goal was to becoming a chaplain. John's health crisis necessitated a move from Berkeley back to Tucson in 2008. Gabriella transferred to Earlham School of Religion to complete the Master’s program. In her senior year, working in required Supervised Ministry, Gabriella created a dual ministry; Circle Community, a sharing, praying and studying support group and worked as a crisis advocate in Tucson area hospitals. Most of her family was present in Cincinnati OH when Gabriella was ordained in July 2012. In July of 2011 she was ordained in the Swedeborgian Church and accepted a call to be the pastor of the New Church of Southwest FL. Soon after her ordination Gabriella accepted a call to become the pastor to the New Church of Southwest FL in 2011. John, a VA patient needed comprehensive medical care unavailable in Fort Myers. For Gabriella ministry begins at home. Once again new a health crisis changed their life. They moved back to Tucson AZ. Back in Tucson, Gabriella found ministry opportunities with Circle Community, did workshops and conducted weekly Prayer Meditations at Rincon U.C.C. She completed a course in Spiritual Direction at the Hesychia School for Spiritual Direction. In mid October 2012, Gabriella began to work as a Chaplain for Harmony Hospice. The job all she had expected. She found great satisfaction working with patients and their families. Gabriella left the per diem position with Harmony for a full time job with Valor HospiceCare. Here too, she worked with grieving families, conducted grief support groups and lead Community Memorial services during the same time that her husband's health was spiraling downwards. Gabriella resigned her job to care for John in the last months of his life. John died in April 2014. Life became chaotic. An intense search a chaplain position in Tucson and other parts of the country was unsuccessful. Peers suggested Gabriella look into open churches with the Swedenborgian Church. She candidated in Kansas with two churches. She was called to pastor the Pretty Prairie and Pawnee Rock churches in July 2014. A new life began with the move to rural Kansas. In August 2014, Gabriella began to serve as the Pastor of the two churches.

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