For the past several months, I’ve been working on offering meditation, Reiki, Spiritual Direction, in Lawrenceville. The first Meditation group was scheduled in Meetup, on Aug24. Five people signed up. My host and I were ready. Everything was arranged for a welcoming and comfortable space for meditation. The hour came for the start. Minutes passed, and my host and I began to wonder if anyone would show up. My one guest, not a member, Circle Community Meditation, arrived one half hour late with profuse apologies. She described being rerouted several times due to road construction.
My doubts and worries began to overtake my judgement. I wondered if this whole idea of offering meditation was a mistake. My guest and host comforted me with suggestions for the next group. I was not confident or that next week will be different, but I was not going to give up, not yet.
Years ago, when leaving in Tucson, my favorite ride was up the Catalina Highway to Mount Lemmon. The road had may twists and turns winding toward the summit. Coming upon a turn around the mountain side was always a bit scary. Of course the road continued but the road seemed to drop away. As I gaze on the photo I took from the passenger seat, my husband was the driver, the lesson is obvious, the road goes on, fear not!
I recalled a poem that always intrigues me, and often felt the same sentiment expressed by one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver.
I Worried
Mary Oliver
I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?
Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?
Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.
Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?
Finally, I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.
And, so did I. I went out for my early morning walk. I am continuing to offer meditation on Saturdays at 1pm. Come and see, I am ready and waiting for you.
